Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
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You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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