they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
