I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
