Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
