I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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