You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
