And the cops told us we were all naked.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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