we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize