if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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