i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
