all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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