WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
