That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
