I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
