I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
