kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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