What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Randomize
