Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize