"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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