make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
