dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
