I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
