I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
