dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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