i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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