That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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