I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if i died would you start the facebook group?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
