I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
