if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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