youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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