She said her name was "party"
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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