is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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