google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
