Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
