....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
