Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
