What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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