I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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