took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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