Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
