blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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