We're like a lot better than the average bears
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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