So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
