Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
