Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
