You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize