I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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