I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
