I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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