ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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