dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
