dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize