Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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