I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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