I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
