so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
