are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
