Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
